The Prudent Prius

Satire for the petrol-inclined

  • Shane Kowalski

Subaru of America adds "Vape Juice" to parts bin.

Updated: Mar 22, 2019

Never a stranger to customer relationships, Fuji Heavy Industries, Ltd. has made a bold move to its aftermarket parts division.

Dog carrier, ski rack, how about an official "Subaru" branded tent? Subaru knows it's customers. If their has ever been a company with it's finger on the pulse of proper branding, it's our friends with the 6 stars.

In a bold move proving once again that they're in touch with the more youthful crowd, Subaru has added their own line of "Vape Juice" to the parts inventory.

Starting with such flavors as "World Rally Blueberry", "STillisious Irish Cream", "Test Pipe Passion fruit" and "First Gear Grinderbread", Subaru hopes are to build long term relationships with it's "hip" tuner crowd.

"We've always made an effort to identify trends with our valued customer base. While making renovations to our parts departments (adding extra ventilation due to excessive clouds from our valued "Tuner" demographic) we thought, "why not embrace this!", and thus our signature line of "Vape Juice" was born" said one unidentified representative.

"This is just the beginning" she continued, "Subaru Tecnica International, or performance division, is currently developing a limited edition "Blow Off Valve" style Vape Pen. Our research has shown that merging our signature juices with the unmistakable sound of a blow off valve will surely make a connection with our younger customers."

And while Subaru's tuner demographic is primarily male, phallic vape pen representation aside, Subaru has not forgot about said demographic's girlfriends. In harmony with the "Vape Juice" branding, stylized and matching "Ratchet" sets will also be available.

At this time pricing is still unavailable.

Here at the Prudent Prius, we applaud Subaru's call to action for a demographic who we feel is sometimes looked down on. This is progress, and for that, we tip our flat bill to you.

The article has been written for satirical purposes and is not meant to represent the actual views of the parties mentioned therein.

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